Went to the orthopedic surgeon today. I always go to these people with the expectation that are not realistic. I think I will come out fixed or on my way to being fixed. It is a little depressing when you have to accept that you are not getting better and the next stages of degeneration are coming.
I admit that I look pretty normal to most people when I walk with a limp. They do not understand the pain is constant and passing at different level.
The good surgeon Dr. Baron let me know that am not ready for cortisone or this other jelly like fluid yet. Instead I was prescribed a knee brace.
The brace works well. It stabilizes my knee. Now my knee is not wobbling loosely with every movement, laying, sitting or standing. it feel much better. It has put some confidence back into my step.
I have not worked since the end of November 2017. I did try half days every second day in January 2018 but that was really a bad idea. I did not recover from any pain before I went back and the six hours a day of getting to, working, and getting back home for each half day was aggressively agitating and increasing the pain.
It is a huge load of pressure each day wondering when I will be told to go back to work. I know I will not be able to live without pain for a while. But the question is after 32 years of this will it ever go away.
Simple day today. Got up. Folded laundry in my chair. Fried egg and one piece of toast on my leg. Then downstairs over to my dads in my truck. We went to lunch together getting a spot in front of the entrance to Sal Y Limon. At 12:30 after lunch I drove him home. I wnet home and hopped back in my chair for the afternoon. I rested in bed for a while but otherwise stayed in my wheelchair.
Feeling tired at 6:15 I realized it was time for me to get ready for my tennis lesson. I put on my leg and stood up. Immediately there was pain in my foot. Putting my shoe on was like squeezing my foot with players. I winced with every step walking the few feet from the back door to my truck pushing my sports chair. I drove for 35 minutes to UBC getting out of the truck I felt more pain than i had in a long time. It was the same pain I had when I was working.
I stood in the washroom taking a moment to breath and gain perspective on what is happening in my life at this time. The pain was great. Even though the knee is being stabilized I have a new pain in my shin bone. I realized at that moment the only activity left for me now is tennis.
Last clinic with Darious