Dad apologized to me a few weeks ago saying he was sad he could not be a good example for me anymore.

It is only a couple of years ago he started to approve of me playing tennis.  I played for about 30 years.  He never came to see me once.  Currently I am unable to play and have realized that he will never see me play.  Sad moment.

Lately I have been watching friends play and catching tennis on TV.  I miss it so much.  I hope my body is able to play again in a few years.

I don’t do any activities I used to be able to do and I am afraid of my body deteriorating more with my multiple disabilities.  My healing/recovery attitude is good.  I am trying hard every day and every few months I see slight improvement.  How far can I recover???  Will I ever be able to use my arms again without great pain?  I know the pain from my neck down will not disappear.  Daily the pain shifts through my body.  I exercise waking up muscle that have not bee used for a while.  I miss the aggression I could express in sports.

I want to heal.

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